It's 2021. The world is "connected." Listening has become the ultimate virtue. Empathy, the only character quality of note.

New social causes seek ralliers. Shout the right words. Make the right social media posts. Deform your face into a frown at the opinions you disagree with. Berate the people on the "other" side. Beat your drum to the right tune.

Or, suffer the consequences.

Connection

Entire friend circles are formed around social causes.

• "Stop Asian Hate."
• "Black Lives Matter."
• Disaster Relief, or conversely, terrorism.
• Pro-life and Pro-choice groups.
• Religions, or even atheism (e.g. the church of FSM).
• The Democrat and Republican parties.
• Feminism and Men's Rights groups.

Congregation of individuals into larger groups is natural. The fact these groups typically center around an individual belief is unsurprising as well. The fact that expressing an opposing belief in these groups grants you a one-way ticket to "not in this group anymore" is also unsurprising.

As humans, we seek connection. Connection is established by finding common ground. Social causes and beliefs, by definition, extend outside the world of a single individual. As such, they're a primary means of finding connection.

To become included in such a group, one must listen. You must listen intently. What is it that this group deems acceptable? What's taboo? Would your next sentence be a faux pas? Would it garner a laugh?

To survive, one must connect. To connect, one must learn to "act." Why? Because groups don't like individuals. To express a 70% agreeing opinion is to be "dangerous." Either conform 100%, or find a new group.

Silence is powerful. "Better to keep one's mouth shut and look a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

Silence grants plausible deniability. I'm learning this lesson recently. Well, relearning it, actually. When in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

Even the most powerful people in the world are rarely worth talking to. So few people actually desire to know your heart or your mind. When you find someone who does, keep them close. I'm blessed to know a few people of this nature.

Listening: A Lost Art

Nope, I don't mean to other people. As per above, I think our society spends too much time telling people they need to "listen to GROUP XYZ more." That we need to "have empathy for GROUP ABC."

I'm done with that. I spend so much time worrying about listening to others. I spend so much time being courteous.

I never interrupt. I always let others drive the conversation the directions they want to. Why would I contribute anything? I have little to gain.

No, what I'm advocating is listening to yourself.

Stop letting other people tell you how to live your life. Stop letting other people shame you for your beliefs. Stop letting other people judge your actions. Stop listening to when other people act out of pride. They're not special. They're errant humans. They're probably dumb. They're rarely working in your best interest.

Listen to yourself. Find somewhere you can be truly alone. Turn off your computer. Turn off your phone. Leave your books at home.

Listen to your own mind. Become intimately familiar with yourself. When someone says "you seem X," be ready with your own idea about your self. "No, you're wrong, I'm Y." Or, "Yes, thanks for noticing!"

Why?

Why did I write this? Why does it seem to depressing?

I've been weak lately. I've been viewing the world from the frame of those around me. I've neglected my own viewpoint. I've allowed others to dictate my thoughts.

It's time to take some ground back. I will and won't do or believe certain things, and if you'd like to change my mind on them, you better do so out of love. That excludes pretty much every journalist. Pretty much every person on Reddit. Pretty much every manager at my jobs.

Life is too short to let some dumb-ass strangers control my view of myself. No thanks. Not anymore.

Peace.